The Apple Can Fall Far From The Tree

“You’re just like your Mother!”

It is a phrase that can haunt even the most independent of people. Some might take it as a compliment and others, an unfortunate negative. No one ever asks to be compared to another human being. It could be as simple as, “You snore as loud as your dad,” or “You sound like your mom,” that could set off an argument of denial.

For developing teenagers and children, finding one’s identity is essential. Trying to “fit in,” taking on different roles in a social group and acting out can lead young people to conclude that their personality is based only on such interactions. When compared to their parents, most may want to deny any comparison. Some people may be blessed with wonderful mothers and fathers, yet still want to deny any relation to their parents. Others might find it hard to swallow while hearing the words, “You’re just like your dad,” and may have a good reason to feel that way.

There are always going to be awful people in the world, including terrible parents. Children are always facing challenges when an adult figure does something disgraceful, but it should not be as much of a worry compared to how much an inspirational role model can help impassion a child’s life. Sometimes it may not even be terrible parents that cause a child to feel a challenge in identity and opportunity.  Children are influenced in so many other ways than just by their caretakers. Environment has always been a huge factor in how a child develops.

Sometimes situations that households are in can cause a child to feel the pressure to succeed or not. When children are raised in an environment of war and poverty they might believe those settings are the future. However, this does not mean children raised in such households will turn out to share their parents’ circumstances or feelings during the time.

Throughout history there have been great people that have emerged from communities that were not always white-picket fenced, smiles and sunshine.  Abraham Lincoln was born in a one-room log cabin. Marie Curie was the fifth and youngest child of a family that had just lost a great deal of property and money from Poland’s national uprising. Benjamin Franklin was born in a family of 17 other siblings and only had enough money to attend Boston Latin School for two years. It is not always the parents to blame for how their children turn out.

Although parents and guardians are major influencers of children, they are separate entities entirely. Many factors can affect how a child turns out in life, but parents are there to guide children in their journey of life. Yes, they may hold their hand once in a while but ultimately the child will walk their own journey.

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